American Pie Presents:Road Trip
by AnakinJediKnight63
Summary: A New Story with New Characters. Takes place after the other stories I wrote,American Pie Presents:Christmas Vacation, Stifler Reunion, and Graduation


American Pie Presents: Road Trip Screenplay By: Austin Vargas Based on Characters by Adam Herz

It Begins.

We see the main character of our new story, his name is John Walker, he is with a girl(his girlfriend), named Peyton Crawford.  
>They are making out.<p>

Peyton:" did you bring it?"

John:" Oh! Yeah here it is!"

He pulls out a condom, John is still a virgin, but Peyton isn't.

Peyton:" Put it on!"

John:" Uh...Right"

Peyton:" Are you ready to lose your virginity?"

He pulls down is pants and puts the condom on, and then takes his shirt off.

John:" Okay, I'm ready"

Peyton pulls her shirt and her bra off.

John:" Holy Shit!"

Peyton:" Come here!"

They start making out again.

John:" Wait, are you sure your parents are gone?"

Peyton:" Yeah, don't worry"

She pulls her pants and panties down.

Peyton:" What do you think of this?"

Down stairs we see Peyton's Mom walk in, up in the room John is penatrating her.

Peyton:" Oh Yeah! That feels so good"

Peyton's Mom hears this.

Peyton's Mom:" PEYTON? ARE YOU HERE?"

Back in the room.

Peyton:" Oh No!"

John:" Uh...What do I do?"

Peyton:" Out the window!"

John:" This is the top floor!"

Peyton:" Just stay on the roof until I get rid of my Mom"

He climbs out the window. Peyton puts her close on, her mom walks in.

Peyton's Mom:" Oh, what was all that noise?"

Peyton:" you must be hearing things Mom"

Peyton's Mom:" Huh, I guess I was"

On the roof John is naked, a cop sitting in his car sees him, he aims his flash light up at John.

Cop:" Put your hands where I can see them, you're under arrest!"

John raises his arms.

John:" Damn!"

The title shows upon the screen, and the American Pie Theme plays,  
>with Opening Credits following.<p>

John is seen in a jail cell, Noah Levenstien(Jim's Dad) walks up, with a police man, the police man unlocks the cell and lets John out.

John:" thank you so much for bailing me out, I'll pay you back, I promise"

Noah:" No John that's quite alright, your parents are good friends of mine, you're like family to me"

John:" Thanks"

Later they pull up at John's house.

Noah:" May I ask why you were naked on a roof?"

John:" I was uh...trying to uh...have sex with my girlfriend, and her mom came so she hid me on the roof"

Noah:" Oh...I see, well don't feel too bad about it, it's a very natural uh...thing to mate with other humans, my son Jim had his fare share of sexual mishaps, but he's married now and out of the house so he turned out fine"

John:" Okay...Uh...Thanks again for bailing me out"

Noah:" Anytime"

John gets out of the car and Noah drives away.

Later, John, Greg, and Daniel are at John's house watching T.V. in his room.

Greg:" Hey, Stifler what are we gonna do for Summer Vacation? I mean we're finally out, what should we do?"

Daniel:" I know, first I'm gonna throw a party, and then we're gonna get you fuckers laid!"

John:" How?"

Daniel:" I've got a cousin that lives in canada, his name is Drake, he lives in a mansion, with a bunch of hot chicks that do whatever he wants and shit!"

Greg:"I've heard about the Stiflers, but I've never heard of him, why?"

John:" I'm with Greg, I havn't heard of him either"

Daniel:" It's because he didn't go to East Great Falls High, you Ass Monkies!"

Greg:" Makes since to me"

Daniel:" So after the party tonight, Pack your bags gentlemen, because we're going on a road trip fuckers!"

Later, John is on the phone with Peyton.

Peyton:" So I think that we should break up"

John:" What? Why?"

Peyton:" Because I just need a guy that can satisfy me and not ditch me when I hide them from my parents"

John:" I didn't ditch you, the cops caught me, I told you that"

Peyton:" Whatever, I'm tired of excuses, good bye John, this is where our relationship ends, I'm sorry"

John:" Wait! Peyton! Peyton!"

She hung up.

John:" Shit!"

He throws the phone.

Later at Daniel Stifler's party.

Daniel:" Hey Cock Nose! Cheer Up! She was a bitch anyway! It was her loss man!"

John:" Thanks Stifler"

The doorbell rings.

Daniel:" Hold on I gotta get that!"

Greg:" Hey dude, I'm here for you don't worry!"

A hot girl walks by, Greg sees her and walks after her.

Greg:" Hey girl! What's your Number?"

John goes to pour a shot, but instead throws the shot glass and starts chugging it from the bottle.  
>We see Daniel open the door, its two guys.<p>

Daniel:" Hey Dick lickers, Come on in!"

Back to John, Greg walks up next to him, he has a red hand mark on the side of his face.

John:" Didn't work?"

Greg:" Didn't work"

John:" My stomach hurts I think I got to take a shit"

Greg:" Maybe its because you've chugged half a bottle of whiskey"

John:" I'm going to the bathroom"

John gets up and walks over to the bathroom, its occupied.

John:" Hey Stifler! Is there a bathroom up stairs?"

Daniel:" Yeah"

John:" Okay, which door?"

Daniel:" Figure it out yourself numb nuts!"

John walks up stairs, he opens a door, its a bed room, 2 people are trying to have sex, the guy gets out of the bed, and walks over to John.

Guy:" What the hell do you want, I'm trying to get laid?"

The Guy pushes John.

John:" I'm just looking for the bathroom, sorry"

Guy:" I'll make you sorry"

He pushes him again, John starts to gag, due to all the alcohal he drank.  
>The guy grabs the whiskey from John's hand.<p>

Guy:" Thanks for the gift"

He starts chugging the bottle.

John gags again, and then pukes all over the guy.

Guy:" WHAT THE FUCK?"

He pushes John out of the way and leaves, John sees that the girl in the bed is Peyton.

Peyton:" John?"

John:" Hi"

The Next Day, John, Greg, and Daniel are loading thier car with bags, getting ready to head out on the road trip.

Greg:" Hey John, how'd you get your mom to agree to this?"

John:" I told her we're going to a science expo, she allowed it because she thinks it will be good for my education"

Daniel:" My mom wanted me to spend time with my cousin"

Greg:" My mom was just glad to get me out of the damn house"

Later in the car.

John:" So Stifler, how does your cousin have so much money?"

Daniel:" He gets a shitload of money because he owns this porn site called "

Greg:" I've been to that site, its fuckin awesome"

John:" No one cares what you beat your meat to, Greg"

Greg:" I do"

John laughs.  
>Later, they have stopped at a hotel, Greg and Daniel are in thier bathing suits, getting ready to go swimming.<p>

Daniel:" Hey Shit Nugget! Are you gonna come with us? We're gonna go check out the chicks at the pool"

John:" No I'm gonna stay here guys"

Greg:" What are you gonna do, Whack off?"

John:" No"

Daniel:" Alright we'll be back later"

They go out the door, John is on his laptop, he thinks for a second, the words of Greg go through his mind, " What are you gonna do, Whack off?" repeats and repeats, he pulls up a porn site. He puts lotion on his hands,  
>and begins.<p>

John:" Oh Yeah"

A knock is on the door, it's Greg and Daniel.

Daniel:" Hey Fucker! Open the door, the pool was closed!"

John:" Shit"

He gets up wipes his hands off with a towel, he pulls his pants up and zips them, but gets caught in his zipper.

John:" OW! SHIT!"

People in the hotel room next door hear this, a little boy with his dad and mom.

Little Boy:" Mommy, What does Shit Mean?"

Mom:" Don't say that!"

Back to the others.

Greg:" John, you okay in there?"

John:" Yeah! Ow! I just uh...Hit my toe on the desk! Hold on a second!"

He tries to unzip his pants, it doesn't work just hurts him more.

John:" OW! FUCK A CAMEL!"

In the room next door the dad covers his son's ears.

Mom:" I'm complaining to the manager"

Back to Greg and Daniel.

Daniel:" I just remembered I have a key"

He pulls out the key and unlocks the door.  
>Greg and Daniel see John stuck in his zipper.<p>

Greg:" Holy Shit!"

Daniel just laughs.

Later, John is at the hospital.

Docter:" You should be back to normal in a few days"

The Docter walks away.

Greg:" I can't believe you got us kicked out of the hotel"

Daniel:" I can't believe you got your Sausage stuck in your zipper"

The Next day, they are driving when they stop at a gas station.

Daniel:" Why the fuck are we stopping?"

Greg:" I gotta take a piss!"

John:" I'll buy some snacks"

In the Bathroom, Greg is in a stall, he sets the car keys down on the toilet paper roll, he starts to pee, when he's done he flushes turns to leave

Greg:" Oops, Almost forgot the keys"

He turns around, bumping into the toilet paper, knocking the keys in the toilet.

Greg:" Shit"

He goes to grab them, when a man walks in the stall, the door knocks Greg down, causing him to accidently flush the toilet.

Man:" Sorry, Didn't know it was occupied"

The man walks into the other stall, Greg looks in the toilet, the keys were gone, he had flushed them.

Greg:" FUCK!"

Greg walks out of the bathroom and over to John and Daniel.

Daniel:" Damn, you were in there a long time, are you ready to go pissing beauty?"

Greg:" Guys, something happened..."

John:" What now?"

Greg:" I sort of flushed the keys down the toilet"

John:" WHAT?"

Daniel:" What the hell is your problem Greg?"

Greg:" It was an accident"

Daniel:" Shit! Now what are we gonna do?"

John:" We could call a cab"

Daniel:" But what about my car?"

Greg:" Okay, calm down Stifler! We could have it towed back to your house"

Daniel:" Fine! Lets get a damn cab!"

Later in the cab, the cab driver is a man wearing all pink and sun glasses, he chews his gum with his mouth open.  
>He stares in the mirror looking at Daniel.<p>

Cab Driver:" So what are your names?"

John:" I'm John Walker"

Greg:" and I'm Greg Bishop"

Daniel stays silent, feeling uncomfortable with the cab driver paying alot of attention to him.

Cab Driver(looking at Daniel):" and what about you?"

Daniel:" Uh...I'm Daniel Stifler"

Cab Driver:" What a Cute name"

Daniel becomes more uncomfortable.

They arrive at Drake Stifler's house.

Cab Driver:" That'll be $8.50"

Daniel reaches for his wallet, its not there.

Daniel:" Oh shit! I left my wallet at the gas station"

John:" I'm broke"

Greg:" Me too"

Cab Driver:" That's okay you could always pay me with something else"

He rubs Daniel's leg.

Daniel:" Fuck No!"

He climbs out of the cab, John and Greg follow.

Daniel:" Sorry sir, but I'm out of money"

Cab Driver:" Thats okay I'll let it go"

Daniel:" Thank you!"

Cab Driver:" No Thank you!"

He pulls him in and kisses him, lets him go and drives away as fast as he can.

Daniel:" Ew! What the Fuck?"

He wipes his toungue repeatedly with his hand.

John:" Gross!"

Greg:" That's some nasty shit!"

Daniel:" Shut the hell up, Cum Wads! Don't mention this to anyone, you got it?"

Greg:" Sure"

John:" Fine"

Daniel:" Okay now, lets go inside!"

They walk up to the door, and ring the door bell.  
>A beautiful women in her underwear opens the door.<p>

Women:" Welcome"

Drake comes to the door.

Drake:" Well if isn't cousin Daniel? What's up, you Cock sucking Homo?"

Daniel:" I'm fine, How about you, you Anal plugging Fucktard?"

Drake:" I'm good too, it's good to see you!"

They hug.

Drake:" Who are they?"

Daniel:" Oh, These are my bitches, John and Greg"

John:" Shut the hell up! We're his friends"

Drake:" Alright you guys are all welcome in the Stifler Palace of Love! Come on in!"

Drake takes them on a tour around the house.

Drake:" this is the bathroom"

2 nude women make out in a bathtub full of bubbles, they continue walking.

Drake:" this is my game room"

2 guys are seen playing a PS3 with 2 shirtless women sit upon thier laps.

Greg:" Awesome!"

Drake:" Thats my buddy Jimmy, and his brother Derek"

Jimmy:" Whats up?"

They walk again.

Drake:" Heres the kitchen with all the beer you could possibly drink, you want some"

Daniel:" Sure"

Greg:" I'll have one too"

John:" I'll pass, you guys remember what happened at the party the other night"

Daniel:" Pussy!"

Drake:" What happened?"

Daniel:" Shit head here, was depressed and had too much to drink then puked all over some dude that was about to fuck his ex,  
>if you ask me he diserved it"<p>

Drake:" Awesome, thats some fuckin awesome pay back, that'll teach that ass hole to sleep with your girl"

John:" I didn't mean to I had too much to drink and the guy pushed me I couldn't avoid it any longer and hurled"

Drake:" Thats pretty fuckin badass if you ask me, you shouldn't be ashamed"

John:" you know what I think I will have a beer"

Daniel:" Alright, thats what I'm talkin about!"

Drake throws him a beer, John catches it and starts to drink it.

Greg:" Are you gonna show us the upstairs?"

Drake:" No need to, its just a bunch of bedrooms, and bathrooms"

Daniel:" I forgot to tell you the reason we came here, I brought these 2 fuckers to get laid"

Drake:" Alright then, I'll call up some people and we're gonna throw us a fuckin party! And you to when you're ready pick a ladie, anyone of them and get goin"

Later, the party has started people are dancing, talking, and drinking.  
>Greg and John are talking.<p>

Greg:" Do you see any of the girls you like?"

John:" Several of them I like, but it doesn't feel right having technically my first time with a stranger"

Greg:" John stop being a Pussy! This is you chance to get laid, that bitch Peyton has probably been fuckin as many dudes as she can find since we left, nows your chance to make her jelous, think about it I'm gonna go get laid, you can stay here and turn down this opprotunity, but I'm going, Peace!"

John:" Greg!"

Greg ignores John and leaves.

A girl topless girl approaches John.

Girl:" Hey Sexy! You wanna Do it?"

John chugs the rest of his beer.

John:" Sure"

Later, John is seen naked in bed with the girl, and Greg is seen in bed with another girl.

The next day, they are getting ready to leave.

John:" Hey Stifler lets hit the road!"

Daniel:" Alright, lets go!"

Drake:" Leaving so soon?"

Daniel:" yeah see you at the next family reunion you Dick Fuckin Ass Wipe!"

Drake:" Yep see you then you Shit Eating Butt Fucker!"

They hug and say good bye, Drake closes the door, they start walking toward the street.

John:" Guys I got laid last night"

Greg:" You went through with it!"

John:" Yep"

Daniel:" Fuck yeah! Nice, I told you you'd get laid!"

Greg:" Hey, how are we gonna get home?"

John:" Stifler's Cousin gave me money for a cab"

Daniel:" Fuck that shit! I'm walking!"

Daniel starts walking away, John and Greg chase after him.

John:" Stifler! Come on!"

Greg:" Dude, come on Stifler!"

Scene switches to Peyton in her room, she looks at her phone it say "1 New Message from John"  
>She clicks on the message and its a video of him making out with the girl both of them naked, John flips off the camera, he looks at the camera.<p>

John:" Pay back hurts doesn't, Peyton?"

Peyton gets mad and shuts her phone.

Credits Roll with American Pie Theme.


End file.
